Fake it.

After a late evening my eyes were having trouble opening so the decision to stop by the gas station for some caffeine was made. At the gas station I quickly grabbed the drink of choice and went to stand in the surprisingly long line. There were two cashiers but only one was actually going through customers at a normal pace. The other one was held up by one customer. 

A fluffy woman with long silver hair tied back in a pony tail. She was leaning over the counter and speaking with the one. Her facial features were like a wrinkled version of my mom's. She reminded me of her for a few different reasons; because of her hair--keeping it long  is somewhat uncommon in woman of a certain age around here, her conversation--you could tell how lonely she was, and her face--the resemblance was uncanny. 

It made me feel guilty and sad. I don't know where to draw the line with my mom's and my life. I don't know how to get all the things I need to done and still spend enough time with her to make her feel appreciated and dismiss her loneliness. It's hard enough to balance work, school, and a social life. I spend time with family weekly, but it's not enough to dismiss her loneliness, it's easy to see. 

So how does everyone else seem so functional? How does everyone seem to find a healthy balance and make everyone feel loved? Or is it this hard for everyone and they all just paste a on a happy face and go about their days pretending everything is okay? Painting a mirage in the line of sight for all to fall prey too. Using that whole "fake it till you make it deal" that may as well be "lie to yourself, everyone else will believe it and eventually you will too."