a first love

we met through friends and that first night I knew. that you were someone who would matter, I didn't know that would, from then on, be the case. you talked so passionately about things I had never put any effort into, but it was intoxicating. your fervor drew me in. your love of learning, of sharing that knowledge with others, and desire to better the world regardless of how far your reach. your ability to be true to yourself even in the hormonal stage of life that tells us to find our place and fit in. to not hold back and put yourself in such vulnerable situations, and so much more. you had the biggest heart of anyone I'd ever known and no matter how much time we spent together it was never enough. hearing your stories, your dreams, your interests. teasing, cuddling, and just having a really fun time. how different things would have turned out, if I hadn't ended things in a moment of nerves, I have no idea. the idea of us still having such a great time together even now is how I like to picture it. for as long as I live I will hope for your happiness and success in all your dreams. you were the first.