These feelings of hurt that I tried to hide from just keep popping up uninvited. Getting to a point where I think everything might finally be okay. That even though I may never be quite as happy that I may be able to move on from this. That I can pick up the pieces and put myself back together and even though I'll never be the same, that I may resemble the self that everyone once new me as.
Every time I come close though, I fall right back down, not as far, but right back down. Some days it feels as though this valley or hole I find myself in is one in which I'm digging deeper. I lay there in bed staring away into nothingness imagining myself with a shovel as the hurt and pain I'm feeling thickens around me.
Other days I just feel nothing, nothing for anyone or myself. No hunger, no sadness, no thrill, frustration, anger, nothing. Like I'm completely void of all emotion, of all feeling.
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